I officially launched my Website & SEO Consultancy, Zodigital in October 2023. One year later, as I stabilised my growing and clunky "baby" I wanted to set my sites on another endeavour. Which is by mainstream accounts - kind of ridiculous. How can you take one business seriously AND want to grow another? We have always been told and conditioned to play safe, do one thing and do it really well, be cautious! But I don't want to run my business(es) their way. I want ones I love and enjoy. And in order to do that, I need to be able to follow my heart. I’d birthed the brand, perfected the website, created a small community on social media, hosted workshops, sold masterclass tickets, finessed an offer suite and sold all offers, multiple times. Clients trickle in now and my thirst to build and create my other passion is looming on me.
In the past I would have judged myself harshly for this. I’d say I was unreliable, non committal, self sabotaging. Today I have a new take and I’ve come to love myself for it. Today I understand that some people like to do one thing really well for a really long time, other people like to exclusively create and others like to move from one thing to the next as their intuition tells them. Today I understand that I am an INTJ which makes up approx 2% of the population and I am a Manifesting Generator by Human Design. This means that I am not a failure, self sabotaging or weak. I am designed to flow, change and evolve. The only thing that prevents me is my relationship with myself and how I wear societal expectations. Of course at a subconscious level, I want to follow the crowd, walk the trodden path and follow others' blueprints, but I just don't work like that and I need buckets of conviction, self acceptance and courage to create my own, in the name of feeling good.
I am by no means an expert in Human Design. But I do advocate for learning about ourselves and uncovering what makes us tick and even more so, why that is so ok. Understanding elements of what make us, well, us though isn’t the entire solution to moving forwards and shaping a new reality. Knowing isn't enough to free us. When there are deep rooted beliefs of unworthiness, a subconscious voice that says we are unsafe and a body that intermittently responds to being in Tesco frozen aisle the same as being chased by a lion in the jungle - how can one press on with conviction without climbing under the duvet and hiding for days on end.
Finding myself in a position where I can have self acceptance around the way I am, have the faith to invest my own money in help, and courage to take action while regulating my psychological and physical responses did not come from finding this information about myself across the internet. My subconscious belief system, childhood trauma and mental health has impacted and influenced my growth for 28 years so I needed to go deep. I literally cried in group mentoring sessions, felt like a massive imposter every time someone wanted to pay me and even rebuilt my business a few times because I couldn't feel okay about any of it, despite it being what I wanted. Yet today, I continue to plug in to the solutions and tool kit available to me as I grow in business. Today I am expanding and maintaining Zodigital, with happy web design, SEO & CRO clients while also offering EFT to entrepreneurs and people who are struggling with anxiety, belief issues, and emotional pain.
My ability to show up today despite it all, is because I have an excellent combination of pharmaceutical, naturopathic, nutrition, spiritual and therapeutic support in my life. EFT has and continues to support and change my life in a way that no other talking therapy could, it is my choice of therapy and I do it alone and guided by other experts.
As a result of this work, I know that I am not a failure for wanting to build something new alongside my original goal, EFT has enabled me to invest in experts and tools that help my business grow without the fear of lack for my self, and EFT has helped me anchor in to the places that I grow in without running away.
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